I am unemployed. Being unemployed is not a self-defining event, though, to those going through the experience it feels like a definition. Unemployed. Un-…unhinged, unshaven, unclean, un-caffeinated. Unemployment doesn’t need to be as nasty as it sounds! Embrace your unemployed self, become one with unemployment! Shake fists and jeer; enjoy having the excuse to not shower or shave for weeks; hell with laundry and dishes I’m unemployed!! and I like it!
Truth is, unemployment is fun for about a week. Till you actually start trying to become un-unemployed. This is when you feel the real unemployed self and if you pay attention you may learn a thing or two about yourself. And have fun in the process!
The unemployed typically start off being positive, “I just need to get another job, simple!” So we dust off our resume, make some calls. A week passes, crickets……”I’ve been here before, just need to be more aggressive”, or “I haven’t been that proactive in my employment search.” Sprinkle on some self-doubt and turn to….Second week, still more crickets……..by this time if you have done it right you tell yourself you have seriously near 500 applications out there but in reality maybe 50; if your crazy you could hit 100. Possibly have some response, even a couple of phone interviews, maybe even an actual person-2-person but nothing serious. By the third week its full on panic mode…..”oh god, I will never work again”. “what is wrong with me that I can’t even get a call back?!” Do what I do, increase productivity, I am up to 4 20 oz Red bulls a day. Shave half your face, spike half your hair; put on your best looking button down shirt (starched of course) and a blazer but no slacks!! Walk around in your skivvies. Being unemployed is all about attitude and conviction right? I’ve always wanted to work half-dressed! ….
After the first month of raw unadulterated shotgunning my resume across the digital universe I figure something has to stick right? One can not possibly dole out that much data and it not even have one accidentally land upon the right desk in front of the right hiring manager, the universe isn’t that cruel! Yet two months in, here I sit; still in that same button down shirt (now wrinkled and stained), same blazer, and my face hair resembling half of ZZ Top. With my coffee in one hand and a Red bull in the other, I remind myself a lesson is about to enter stage right, and that excites me!
Whenever I find the opportunity to learn, I seize it. I have found that this makes most people uncomfortable because to learn requires one to embrace change. I remember a quote from a book by Richard Bach: “In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom.” If I wasn’t completely bored and loathing my last job I would still be employed…understanding this makes me feel a bit better about myself and my situation; I am not helpless or incompetent, I simply want change. Knowing this is empowering! With all the self-doubt and confusion that comes with being unemployed, going back to what you know gives the necessary footing to endure the change and all the wonderful turbulence that comes with!
Let’s explore this concept a bit more. I truly believe that whenever one experiences loss, change is right around the corner. Some loss is big, and some small; and the same applies to the size of change. Fair to say that loss and change are interrelated, so where does gain come into play? Back-burner that question for now. Accept that change is a constant in life, some change is by choice, as in my choice to get fired and some choice is not; thrust upon us seemingly out of nowhere. What we do with the change is a defining aspect of ourselves. Understand that the change is an opportunity to enhance your quality of life, to embrace a better version of yourself, but not before enduring the nasty uncomfortable experience of change. Seriously, who enjoys walking around half-dressed, half shaved, and half caffeinated? Life is to be experienced fully!
Revisit the question, where does gain come into play? The gain comes from the work you do in changing. Consider that you hate your job so you quit, or in my case, get fired but you don’t do the work and you don’t change but you get another job. I am willing to bet my left toe that the job you just were hired for is no different from the job you just left. Doubtless, you will enjoy the same miserable experiences but this time ask yourself, “why in hell did I leave my last job for this job?” A profound and relevant question, why did you do that to yourself? One could accurately define this behavior insane, repeating the same miserable cycle; worse yet, you have wasted precious time. Time, and what we do with it, is all we have in life. Don’t wast it with being unhappy. The gain is equatable to happiness, but happiness never comes without hard work, sweat, some tears, and maybe a little blood. Own it, this is your life we are talking about.
Change would be less scary if one knew how to navigate the unpleasantness I would think. Where others run screaming from any possible sniff of change, there is me, running in like toward change. Why is that? I can attest, first, to having an unwavering commitment to never being bored, or miserable, or insane because I have the understanding, power, and ability to change, and so does everyone else, including you. It begins with embracing the loss and understanding of one-self, than commit to the change that is about to come.
Understanding that change is an opportunity to learn more about life, our environment, and our-self, doesn’t sound so bad, right? And the guarantee that on the back side of change there is new and exciting and the real potential for happiness; at least a happiness we have yet to enjoy.
Consider this change management. Like everything else in life change is a process. True that we may not always see the change coming but we can all identify being in the middle of the storm cloud. If you have trouble envisioning the storm cloud, think of me in all my half-clothed, half-shaved, and half-caffeinated wonderfulness! Segment the change experience: pre-change, mid-change, and post-change.
The pre-change segment is where you quickly pass through relief (if what you are coming from is that bad, and it often is), freedom, and relaxation; into panic, fear, and doubt. Accept that the you are on the brink of something new and ready yourself by remembering your core-self. What you value, what you believe in, where you have come from and what you have done. I like reading, writing and consuming caffeine. I believe in courage, honor, integrity. I survived five years in the Marines to endure another three in the Army. I have achieved both my undergraduate and graduate degrees. This change segment is necessary to give you direction during the mid-change segment. Accept the fact your life is about to change, remind yourself what makes you, you; and consider your achievements that have undoubtedly been awarded through other difficult life changes. And lastly, commit to the experience of change.
The mid-change segment is the “storm” so many refer to. Here is where we lose our old self and find our new self. Messy and uncomfortable because; raw emotional chaos is intense. Embrace the crazy! You will have something to look back on and laugh at! The work is in reflection of the change event. In my particular change event, my job. Each change management process is unique to the situation and to the individual so start by presenting yourself appropriate questions to pursue answers for. Review the questions I laid out for my own change management session:
- What made the change necessary?
- Why was the old job so miserable?
- Why was I so miserable doing the job?
- What was my employer doing to make a miserable experience?
- What did I feel was missing from the professional experience?
Process each question to you feel you have a solid understanding. What made my change necessary? I hated everything about what I was doing. I was angry, and increasingly so. I was hostile, edgy, occasionally disrespectful. My performance trailed off and I developed a healthy dose of I don’t care. I learned that I do not want to be angry, especially at my work. I don’t want to be hostile or edgy. That I want to exceed performance expectations and of course, treat others with respect. The new me will emulate these things in the next opportunity.
Why was the old job so miserable? This is a critical question and don’t hold back! Here is where you rant and rave and get those emotions out so that you can identify them and work them to their origins. I worked as a collections guy so having difficult discussions all day long was the job. Getting cursed at, threatened, hung-up on not only from the customer but from my supervisors! My job is to get people to pay, if they didn’t pay, I failed at the job, no excuses. Long hours, 50 or more a week. Sitting for long periods of time just calling people to get them to pay. Justifying why people aren’t paying to my supervisors without sounding incompetent. Lack of leadership and integrity among colleagues and supervisors. Lack of self-respect and the receiving of respect from colleagues and supervisors. Lack of recognition for hard work, dedication, and superior performance is necessary for professional enjoyment. Take a break. Good hard work here. You just made a list for all the things you do want in your next opportunity.
I want in my next opportunity:
- Not to work more than 40 hours a week
- Not to be cursed at, threatened, or hung-up on by customers
- To be respected by my colleagues and supervisors
- To not sit for hours calling people for money
- To receive respect from my colleagues and supervisors
- To be recognized for my hard work, dedication, and superior performance
- To be compensated fairly based upon my professional value to the organization
- To have solid leadership and direction from my supervisors
I meshed some of the questions together for time sake, but it is a process. Work the process till you feel 1) better about the situation and yourself, and 2) a plausible direction to pursue. This is a skill, to process information, means that you need to learn how to process the process……it takes time and you will get better with practice.
Welcome to post-change, where you can begin to enjoy the gain! Though I am still without work, I know that I will not be unemployed forever. I also know that my next job will be far more fulfilling than my last because I understand what made the last so horrible. I will remain vigilant to the things that made the last job turn into a nightmare and what my reactions were. Already I feel much better about my situation, I feel empowered, I feel positive, I feel assured that my next opportunity will fulfill me greater than all previous opportunities. I feel relieved and with more focus and less panic which will help in opportunity selection.
Understanding change is a war with the self; navigate the war zone through change management by identifying your segments and your chances for personal growth will become a reality; so to will your happiness.
And remember above all else, stay frosty.
Semper Fidelis,
LA Ogren
Larss A. Ogren 